Is it possible to be only partially ed?

Try feeding your feminine side a little bit and see what it does for you. Try experimenting with your gay feelings a little bit. You say you don't like the idea of being in a female body. Do you like how your hands are small and your hips are wide though? Would you trade those female physical characteristics for big bulgy muscles and a square jaw if you could? Keep asking questions and experimenting, all answers come in time.